On The Lighter Side- "Blue Law Specials"

I've been going through some tough times lately. Health issues {car accident}, economic issues,{related to the health issues, which are related to the car accident, which are related to the idiot electric meter reader who didn't know you should LOOK before backing out onto a major highway! } Also, I've really GOT to stop listening to political talk radio 8 hrs a day while I'm working when I'm ALREADY in the mood to kill someone. Sooo, I started thinking. Is there anything that still has the power to entertain me? And I remembered a little hobby of mine back when I was a poli sci major in college. Blue Laws. These quirky little laws that are present in every state constitution. Most of them passed in a "simpler" time, but still there, and still, amazingly enough, for various reasons, occasionally enforced. While they are present in every state, since I'm a native of Florida, I',ve decided to pick on mine first. For the purpose of brevity, I've decided to just list some of my favorites, I'll leave any further commentary up to you:

1.It is illegal to sell your children

2.If an elephant is tied to a parking meter, the parking fee must be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

3.It is illegal to sing in public while attired in a swimsuit.

4. Men may not be seen in public in any kind of strapless gown. {O.K. I said I wouldn't comment, but I would've loved to seen what happened in our legislature, the day they decided this law was necessary!}

5.Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal {who'd try it twice anyway?}

6.While having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

7.You may not fart in a public place after 6 PM

8.It is considered an offense to shower naked

8. You may not break more than 3 dishes a day or chip the edges of more than 4 cupsand/ or saucers.

9.You may not kiss your wife's breasts.

10.An unmarried woman may not parachute on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

 Well, it's getting late, and though I've got a ton more, my daughters having a sleepover and I gotta go!  Maybe next week I'll hit your state!